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Cannibals and Carpet Fitters (2017)


As with most streaming services, the horror category is over bloated with direct to streaming, low budget disasters. That's not to say that there isn't the odd diamond in the rough out there, it's just a painstaking process searching for them. With a title like 'Cannibals and Carpet Fitters' I kind of already knew how this was going to play out, but figured it was worth giving it the benefit of the doubt anyway.


 

I have to assume the director decided that due to the shockingly assembled cast, that it was a safer bet to not have one central focused character. And for me this is one element of this film that I actually enjoyed. Every time someone was introduced I was assuming that he/she would be our final girl/boy, yet just as you become attached to that person they tend to be killed almost immediately. Whether this was an intentional tactic or a deflection from the lacking talent on display remains to be seen, but it does manage to keep things feeling refreshing.


 

Unfortunately, 'Cannibals and Carpet Fitters' fell victim to the enviable failure that it's lack luster title had already set it up to be. That's not to say there aren't a few moments of British humor and creative kills to justify the viewing, just certainly not enough for me to recommend it so anyone else endures a similar fate as I did.


💀1/2

Read the rest of Marc's review here

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